Because two just wasn't enough.

So the time has come for you to get my commitment papers ready.  Friends, colleagues, enemies alike, after this Sunday I believe it is possible for you to consider me truly insane.  This Sunday I completed my third full marathon in 5 weeks.  Madness, you say!  And I shall agree with you, as I rest my sore legs for the third time this season.

Originally this whole debacle started when I was invited by a friend in Calgary(otherwise known as Cowtown) to come join her at the Calgary marathon on May 26th.  When she asked, I had already signed up to run the Vancouver marathon on May 5th, but as I sat there in front of my computer screen, I thought, why not?  What's stopping me from running 2 marathons in a month?  The answer: NOTHING!  So like the nut that I am, I immediately signed up.  She ran the half, I ran the full.  I think her intention may have been for me to run the half with her, but why stop at half when you can go twice as far?  If you're gonna run, run far.

Then when I realized that these 2 runs were just far enough apart to not quite qualify me for membership in the Marathon Maniacs(a very exclusive club for whack jobs like me), I figured I needed a third race so I would qualify.  Enter the Edge 2 Edge marathon from Tofino to Ucluelet.  A race I've always kindof wanted to run but never really had the cajones to sign up for.  As it was held on June 9th, combined with the Calgary marathon it would qualify me for bronze entry into the Marathon Maniacs.  So naturally, I registered in early May.  I have not yet fully decided if I'm actually going to join the club-the membership fees are a little steep to start with and I'm pretty cheap sometimes-but just the knowledge that I now could if I wanted to is really enough for me at this point.

So how did each race go?  Well, gather round the campfire, friends, and I will tell you a tale...

The Vancouver marathon, May 5th, 2013.  This one was lovely.  I had run the new course last year and liked it a lot, and I liked it even better this time.  It's a great course full of nice, meaty downhills and not a lot of ups.  The weather this year was actually a bit too warm, but thanks to Vancouver's compulsory need for an exceptional number of trees, the course was quite shaded for a good chunk of it, so the bright sun really wasn't a problem.  I believe the cap on that particular race was around 10,000, and though they didn't sell out they came damn close.  They did a wave start again this year, and I think I've come to like these quite a bit.  They prevent the clogging you get with big races that don't have them and spread everyone out a lot better right from the start line.

As always, Vancouver is one of the best organized races I've ever done.  Everyone knows where they're supposed to be and when they're supposed to be there.  The only complaint I had this year was that the Skytrain wasn't running early enough for anyone that wasn't on the Canada Line to get the start on time.  While this was probably one of the genius decisions Translink decided to make, it still kinda reflects badly on the marathon, which is unfortunate.  This year they upped the number of water stations on the course, and I believe there was one pretty much every mile.  Which is a lot of water stations.  25 or so, if you're counting.  It actually helped a lot with the flow of runners, because not everyone stopped at every water station, which helped with the clogs that inevitably happen when people stop to drink.  Squish the cup closed and drink on the fly, kids!  It's a race, the timer's running!  Also, stay out of my way if you're gonna stop, or I swear I'll bowl you over.  If anyone wants a lesson in how to drink on the fly in a race, just ask.  Hell, I'll do a Youtube video if it'll mean I don't have to nearly slam into your back the second you grab that cup of gatorade.

The lunch bags post-race were lackluster yet again, but that seems to be the name of the game of late.  A few years ago you could get chocolate milk, candy, even pudding post race.  Now you're happy if you get some sort of topping to go with your dry bagel.  I just ran for 42 km.  I was sweating that whole time.  There is absolutely zero moisture left in my body.  How do you expect me to work up enough saliva to swallow a bagel with no cream cheese or other kind of topping?

The spectators in Vancouver were, as always, excellent.  Lots of people came out to cheer on complete strangers, and I thank you all for that.  Especially those of you that were ambitious enough to make signs or even dress up.  This year, the marathon teamed with the Starbucks stores along the route, and anyone that wanted could go in and pick up a free signboard to decorate and hold up along the route.  It was the first year they've done this so I think it probably wasn't very widely publicized, but I definitely saw a sign or two that cake from a Starbucks.  Next year, if more people catch on, it's gonna be amazing.  Special thumbs-up go to those 2 guys who were at the start line, along the course a couple times, and at the finish line dressed as the grim reaper and Darth Vader.  They had signs that said "may the course be with you" and "the end is not near".  The second sign flipped near the finish line to say "the end is near".  Good job, fellows.  And a very special whack of the cowbell to the guy with the afro dressed as Will Ferrell who was rockin' the brown v-neck and tight jeans, and enjoying that cowbell just a little too much at about 4 points along the course.  More cowbell to you, good sir!  Please come out again next year, the runners appreciate you. 

Also, if anyone is interested, there is a "Bare Buns Run" on the nudist beach every year, as advertised by a rather aged fellow wearing nothing but a sandwich board out at UBC.  Not sure exactly when it was, because I was too busy trying to wipe that particular image from my memory to notice what the sign said.

My finishing time in Vancouver was 4:25:17, which is not a personal best.  But you know what?  I don't care.  I finished, and I finished strong and feeling pretty good.  And that's good enough for me, thanks.

Calgary Marathon, May 26th, 2013.  Or marathon #2, as I like to call it.  I wasn't really expecting much in the way of happiness from this race, because it was my second in a month, and it was a good 1,000 m of elevation higher than what I normally run at.  1,000 m might not sound like much, but consider that at 7,000 m you can survive for as long as you like and not die, whereas at 8,000 m you've entered the death zone and will literally die of asphyxia if you spend too long there.  So yeah, 1,000 m makes a difference.

That said, I had a pretty good race.  The course in Calgary was really twisty, and I kinda liked it because I couldn't see how much farther I had to go.  It's always better when you can't see that you still have 20km left still.  It had a few hills, but nothing severe, and it wound through a good chunk of Calgary.  The course for the full followed the course for the half until around  10 km, where it split off and headed south for a 20+km detour that would make it full marathon distance.  Both races started at the same time, and there were a lot of people running the half, so it was quite crowded until we split.  After that it was gravy, though.  Nice and open and empty.  My only complaint was that a lot of the roads were still open to traffic going both ways, so it was a little scary running along with cars zipping by at 50-60km/h.  Well, maybe not my only complaint.  The roads in Cowtown are slanted, and they had us running down the same side of the road for pretty much the whole race.  Two weeks before at a game of ultimate frisbee I had tweaked my knee and aggravated my left IT band.  Well, the slant of the road didn't exactly treat my poor knee very nicely.  I will say that I was still able to walk afterwards without limping too badly, though my friend's 4th floor walk-up apartment wasn't particularly pleasant.  I almost had to have a rest going up those stairs the first time after the race.

Cowtown was, by comparison to a lot of the races I've done recently, quite small.  1,300 people registered for the full marathon.  I wasn't sure just how good of a race it was going to be considering it's size, but it turned out to be really fun.  Of all the races I've done, the spectators in Calgary are the best I've seen so far.  Because it wound through residential areas, people actually came out of their houses and sat on their front lawns in chairs and cheered us on.  And they did it well, too.  I was very impressed.

I also made a friend during the race, and that's the first time that's ever happened to me.  A fellow came up from behind me and we started chatting.  He asked me about my shoes to start-I was wearing the New Balance barefoot road shoes.  We ran together for a good 3-4 km before he accidentally dropped one of his energy gels and had to stop.  I kept going, of course, because nothing stops a runner during a race if they can help it.  It was a novel experience, this talking to a stranger during a race, but I quite liked it.  I just wish I had managed to get his name, so I didn't have to refer to him forever as tall ponytail guy.  Oh, and another guy liked my footprint tattoo.  He was running completely barefoot, the nut.

But the best part, and I mean it when I say this, about the Calgary marathon is the medal.  Now, the medal for the half marathon and the shorter race-a 10K I think-are just regular medals.  The medal for the full marathon, however, is a belt buckle.  YES!  I kid you not.  And honest-to-God, larger than life, Calgary cowboy belt buckle.  It comes on the usual fancy ribbon, but has the attachments so you can take it off and actually wear it as a real-live belt buckle.  It's awesome!  My friend and her boyfriend were nice enough to take me to the nearest Lammle's to actually purchase a belt that I could attach it to, seeing as finding one of those in Vancouver would likely be like trying to spot a real cowboy during stampede week.  And this thing is monstrous, too!  I think it probably weighs in at a good 2 lbs or more, and it's so big it almost doesn't fit my pants.  But I made it fit, because I earned it, dammit!  And I shall wear my obnoxiously large belt buckle with pride.

Final finishing time in Calgary was a spectacularly even 4:29:00.  Which ain't bad, methinks.

Edge 2 Edge Marathon, Tofino to Ucluelet, June 9th, 2013.  The last of the marathons.  Well, for now, anyways.  This race is kindof unique, or so I like to think.  First, it's way the hell out on Vancouver Island in basically the middle of nowhere.  Second, it's one of the few marathons left that allows relay teams.  While I used to hate the relay teams, I've grown to love them over the years, because I get a certain sense of satisfaction when I pass them.  Yeah, you were in front of me, but I'm going 4 times as far and I just passed you.  So there.  And third, it's teeny.  The full and half  marathons are capped at 400 participants, and the relay is capped at 60 teams.  That means if every event sells out completely, there will still only be 1100 people in this race.  It feels exclusive.  I like it.

The course basically follows the highway from Tofino to Ucluelet through the Pacific Rim National Park Reserve, with a short deviation so we get to run along Chesterman Beach near the start.  Running along the beach was actually pretty trippy, too.  It's hard-packed sand, so no worries about tweaking an ankle, and it's pretty.  And when you've got nothing to do for 4.5 hours but look at what's around you, a little pretty doesn't hurt.  Because the highway is the only road into Tofino, it's still open during the race, so again it's a bit scary with the traffic rolling through.  But there are signs on the road and everybody for the most part seemed to slow down quite a bit for us.

This race was also unique in the fact that there really weren't any spectators on the course that weren't at the beginning or the end.  At one end, Tofino, people came out and watched you go by from their lawn chairs.  At the other end, Ucluelet, the same thing.  But there're really nothing in between those 2 towns other than trees and a lot of rolling hills.  No one lives in the Pacific Rim National Park Reserve.  So there's no one to cheer for you on your way through.  Well, other than that one wicked girl who parked at the admin building for the park and woohooed every single person that went by-good on you for that, dear!  So really, other than her, it was just a nice long run all by yourself.  There were other people on the course, but for the most part it pretty much felt like you were just running alone along the side of the highway.  Maybe not a great experience for a first marathon, but rather nice and peaceful for a 10th.

I was expecting to be one of the last people to cross the finish line at this race.  Based on my previous experiences racing on the island, I've learned that there are a ton of really fast runners there, so I figured this race would be no exception.  But that wasn't the case.  This isn't to say that I placed anywhere near the top or anything, but it just means that I wasn't last, like I expected.  In fact, I even passed a lot of relay teams, which was also unexpected.  I was running 42.2 km.  The relayers were doing less than 10 km sections.  Ergo; less distance, more speed, right?  Apparently not.  Makes you feel pretty good about yourself when you can run faster over 42K than someone else can run over 8K.  I also figured I'd be slow because a huge section of the course covers rolling hills, which are the enemy to a distance runner.  But they didn't really seem to bother me that day.

On a side note, my dashing husband decided that since he was following me in the car, he would find himself a nice big hill, park at the top, and use the car speakers to blare "Eye of the Tiger" next to the course while he was waiting for me.  The hill he picked just happened to be the steepest and longest on the course.  It was awesome.  He even got a few compliments on his song choice.  This, dear friends, is why you need a support team.  To do awesome things like that for you.  For the record I did do a little boxing on my way up the hill, and raised my arms in victory when I reached to top.

I commend the organizers of this race, because Tofino and Ucluelet are both really small towns, and finding enough volunteers to actually host this race every year can't be particularly easy.  And the volunteers did very well, especially considering the nature of the course and how spread out it is.  The route was very well marked and some of them must've been out there for over 10 hours.  Really, there would be no races without the volunteers.

My finishing time at the Edge 2 Edge was 4:33:40, which, while not spectacular, is pretty good considering it was my third marathon in 5 weeks.  It's better than I was expecting, anyways.

So how was it running 3 full marathons in 5 weeks?  Rather a lot easier than I was expecting, actually.  Apparently running them that close together doesn’t allow you time to lose the endurance you’ve built up.  In fact, I’d say if I really wanted to, I could probably run another in a week or so.  But the Kusam Klimb is coming up so I guess that’ll have to do.  I was expecting to be completely worn out by the third one, and I wasn’t.  I hesitate to say this too loud, but the Edge 2 Edge actually felt fairly easy compared to Vancouver.  Could there be an ultra in my future?  Perhaps…

While I may not feel completely worn out now, my legs-particularly my knees-have been doing a little complaining since the last race.  My right knee has swollen up a little and I can’t bend it past about a 90 degree angle without getting some grief from it.  But I figure it’s probably owed a little rest, since I’ve been working it so hard.  Or I’m getting old.  Nah, it’s definitely the first one.

Just in case you were wondering, these three races bring my full marathon total to an even 10.  That's right, we're in the double digits now.  For those that are counting, that's 422 km.  If you add up all my finishing times, I've spent 41 hours, 56 minutes, and 11 seconds running over the past 7 years, and that's just counting the full marathons-not the half marathons, 10k's, or training runs.  Oh yes.  And yet somehow, my husband still trusts the 59 cent app he bought on his iPhone for training advice over me.

You might want to leave me alone with this Key Lime pie...

So now that we've covered all the necessary information from the Princess Half Marathon, it's time to get to the fun part.  The vacation itself.  So in a nutshell, this is where we went and what we did.

We started at Disney World and spent 4 days there, then moved to a different hotel closer to Universal and spent 2 days there.  From there we rented a car and ended up in Pompano Beach for 3 nights, then drove down to Key West and spent 4 nights there.  From there we drove all the way back up and over to Crystal River, spent 2 nights there, then drove back to Orlando and spent one night near the airport before leaving the next morning.

So I've seen a good chunk of Florida now, really.  What's that?  You want more details?  Well, I shall be more than happy to oblige, kind friends.  So we started out at Disney World.  As mentioned in the last entry, it just seemed rather a lot easier to stay right on Disney property than to rent a car and have to drive there every day.  In hindsight, staying elsewhere and driving may have been a better idea, but live and learn, as they say.

Yes, I'm cheap some of the time.  But really, when I was booking our Disney hotel, I figured that the budget hotel really wouldn't be that bad.  I mean, it's Disney, right?  No.  The budget hotels were just that.  Budget hotels.  Think Travelodge right next the the airport budget, and you'll know where I'm going with this.  There were 3 "budget" hotels on the Disney World property.  Each hotel had over 700 rooms.  Yes, you read that right-700 rooms.  If you do the math, that's 2100 rooms.  And that's just the budget hotels.  They also have "value hotels", "mid-range" hotels, "high-end" hotels, and five star resorts.  So you'd think that, given the sheer number of hotels, they wouldn't really be too bad as far as the rooms were concerned.  You'd be wrong.  The beds were the $200 Salvation Army mattress special.  The room was barely big enough for two double beds(seriously, what do Americans have against a queen size bed?).  Oh, and some of the rooms were so far away from the lobby that it literally took 10 minutes to walk there.  10 minutes!  When we checked in, we were actually told that it would be quicker to go to the lobby of the hotel next door to catch shuttles, find a cafeteria, etc, than it would be to walk all the way back to the lobby of our own hotel.  Super.

We arrived at the hotel at around midnight, because our connecting flight was delayed by a good couple hours.  We managed to get our room keys and find out room in the maze of buildings, but when we tried the key the door didn't move.  The light went green, but nothing clicked.  So I made the 10 minute trek back to the hotel lobby, where the desk person contacted maintenance.  They were supposed to be at our room within 10 minutes.  They weren't.  Another 10 minute trek to the lobby actually caused her to pick up the phone and call maintenance.  I was told to meet them at the room in 10 minutes.  Still no one.  I called back to the front desk using a courtesy phone closer to our building.  Another 10 minutes.  Finally someone showed up.  He tried the lock, and nothing.  Then he left to go get the master key.  Then he came back, to discover it was the wrong key.  He then came back again with the right key, only to find that the door wouldn't open.  It was jammed and wouldn't open at all.  Finally, after wrestling with it for a few minutes, he managed to get it open.  After asking several times when he let us into the room when someone would fix it, he told me he would send someone the next morning.  At this point it was nearly 3am.  That's right, it took 3 hours to get into our hotel room.  You could've just moved us to the different room and fixed the door the next day, but no.  You made us wait for 3 hours after midnight, when we were tired and stinky.  Bravo, Disney.  What an excellent way to start our vacation.

I'll try to stop whining now.

As an adult, I wasn't really sure what I should be expecting to get out of Disney World.  It's geared towards kids, so I figured it would at least be a little fun for a grown-up.  Which it is, if you're in the right frame of mind.  If you can manage to ignore all the screaming, whiny, demanding and obnoxious children that will surround you every minute of every day while you're there.  Which, luckily, I can.  That's not to say that all the children are screaming, whiny and obnoxious.  Just most of them.  Let's start with the rides.  The rides are designed for kids.  Which means as an adult, they feel a little tame.  There are, of course, some rides that are more adult oriented-mostly the roller coasters-and it seemed that you could tell these simply by noticing there was a height restriction.  But for the most part the rides are a little slower, a little less scary.  Which is fine by me, thank you very much.

I don't like roller coasters.  Okay, let me qualify that.  I don't like roller coasters where the rails are under your feet.  Turns out the ones where your feet dangle and the rail is at your head really aren't so bad.  So I avoided any ride if I knew it was a roller coaster.  I know they're all completely safe, and thoroughly tested.  I know there's barely even the slightest infinitesimal chance that I will die whilst riding a roller coaster.  This doesn't change the fact that I don't like them.  I know this doesn't make sense, especially given my propensity to find new and exciting ways to endanger my life on a regular basis, but there it is.  I like them even less if they're in the dark.  Needless to say I did not ride Space Mountain.

We did ride nearly every other ride, though.  In all, we spent a day at Epcot, a day at the Magic Kingdom, half a day at Downtown Disney, and a day at Hollywood Studios.  Confused?  Well, Disney World is really more of it's own little settlement.  It's not just one theme park, it's many.  It even has it's own McDonald's.  So when you say "Disney World", you are collectively referring to many theme parks that reside on Disney property near Orlando, Florida.  I can't remember how many parks there actually are at Disney World, because we only spent 4 days there and we didn't visit all of them.  For instance, the ESPN World of Sports really didn't appeal to us, so we skipped it.  There are 2 waterparks, too.

Epcot is the cultural park, where they have little areas that are made up to look like different areas of the world.  It was cool, but seemed a bit odd, given that if you really wanted to see that country, you could just go there.  But I guess it saves people the hassle of having to figure out foreign currency.  Canada did get a section, I might add.  The Magic Kingdom is what you would traditionally think of when someone says Disney.  Cinderella's castle, the Small World ride, all that stuff.  That park really is mainly for the kids.  Downtown Disney is a collection of shops and restaurants that was probably put there to shut up the shopaholic moms that get dragged to Disney World by their kids.  Most of the shops sell exactly the same things that are sold inside the parks, and the restaurants are all quite wickedly overpriced.  But it is a welcome change from standing in line waiting for a ride.  Disney's Hollywood Studios is the park for the older kids and the grown-ups.  The rides are a little edgier, the decor a little less child-friendly.  This was our favourite park at Disney World.  Probably because it had the Tower of Terror.

The Tower of Terror is a ride that's based on the Twilight Zone.  It's essentially and elevator that takes you on a little ride through some creepy stuff, and then, at one point when you're least expecting it, BAM!  You drop 20 or 30 feet.  Then, when you think the ride's over and you're done, BAM!  You drop another 10 feet.  Then you go back up and repeat.  It was awesome!  Glen and I were laughing so hard by the end of it we had tears in our eyes.  And we even heard one of the people in the gift shop tell someone that the ride is different every time, because they vary when the elevator goes up and down.  We would've ridden it again if the line was shorter.  As it was, though, we only ended up riding a couple of the rides more than once.  One of which was Star Tours, which is the Star Wars-based motion simulator they've had at the Disney parks literally since I was a kid.  Seriously, I remember going on it at Disneyland back in the early 90's.  The Haunted Mansion was still a gooder, though that probably has something to do with my family's love for a good haunted house.  Halloween is the best holiday, and I'll argue with anyone that says different.

I came away from Disney World with a greater appreciation for how much my grandparents loved us when we were kids, because they took us there when my Mom and Dad couldn't.  And putting up with three kids at Disneyland probably isn't a barrel full of monkeys.  The also took us because our parents couldn't afford it.  I know why they couldn't afford it now.  I mean, how can anyone afford to ever take their kids to a Disney park?  Just between me and the husband we spent an obscene amount of money, and I think given the options we did it rather cheaply.  And we were only there for 4 days.  After we got back from our vacation they sent us a survey, mostly focusing on whether or not we would return.  I put no.  Sure, it's an experience most kids would die for, but I think I'd rather spend the cash on something different, especially if it's gonna be that much cash.  I'm not saying that I'll never, ever return.  If my currently unborn were to beg me a lot, behave themselves and perhaps bring me breakfast in bed for a year or so, then I might consider it.  If, and only if, it didn't require me to take out a second mortgage on my house to do so.

From there, we mercifully managed to leave the clutches of Disney and headed for Universal Studios.  Universal Studios itself has 2 different theme parks, Islands of Adventure and the traditional Universal Studios.  The Universal Studios side has the more plain, older rides, like Twister and Men in Black.  It really just looks like a lot of warehouses, but it's fun regardless.  That was where Glen tricked me onto the roller coaster.  The roller coaster in the dark.  For those of you that might venture there, it's the Mummy ride.  We went first thing in the morning, and ended up walking right into the car and riding just the two of us.  I didn't know it was a roller coaster until we were actually physically in the seats of the car.  Then I said something about the seats looking like roller coaster seats, and the attendant, after giving me a "humour the stupid tourist" look, said that it was a roller coaster.  Glen has yet to be forgiven.  That was actually the second roller coaster he tricked me into riding.  The day before we had gone to Islands of Adventure, where the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is, and while there we noticed that one ride had literally just opened up, and there was almost no line.  So away we went.  As we're walking through the line, I ask why it seems suspiciously like we're going to be getting on a roller coaster.  He said, and I quote: "I think this actually is a roller coaster."  Bastard!  And you knowlingly let me get in line!  You see, once you're in line, there are no chicken tickets.  You ride the ride, regardless of how scary or inane it might be.  Those are the rules.  Well, not the actual rules, but the rules in our house, anyways.

So Universal Studios had some good rides, but Islands of Adventure had, in our opinion, the best rides.  I have a real appreciation for what can be done with a motion simulator and enough money now.  My absolute favourite was the Harry Potter ride.  Not only is it inside the Hogwarts castle they've built there, but the ride itself is amazing.  It's hard to really describe very well, so you'll just have to visit yourself and see.  Trust me, if there's a line, it's worth the wait.  The Spiderman ride was also excellent.  The fun part of Islands of Adventure is that they really are little islands.  It's set around a central lake, and if you walk around the lake you'll pass through Marvel comics, old-style comics(think Popeye), Jurassic Park, Hogsmeade(by far the busiest part of the park), Sinbad-style Arabia, and Dr. Seuss.  Each area is incredibly well done, especially in Dr. Seuss' landing.

So my husband, evidently, is a fan of roller coasters.  I was unaware of this until we arrived in Florida and he seemed determined to ride every single roller coaster we came across.  He rode the Hulk 3 times.  He also did his best to convince me to come with him, but I declined with a rather crude string of expletives that there was no way he was getting me on another one, thankyouverymuch.

From Orlando we headed south, with the ultimate final destination of Key West, after picking up our rental car.  I didn't know how long it would take us to get there, so I had figured on driving rather slowly and taking 3 days to get there.  Ha!  If you wanted to, you could drive it in a day.  So we ended up stopping just north of Miami in a lovely spot along the ocean called Pompano beach.  Pompano beach is a retirement area.  I know this because when I went running, I was quite literally the youngest person there.  By a good 20 years or more.  Ahh, grey hair.  But it was quiet, there was a beach, and it was close enough to be driving distance to the arena where we had tickets to a Florida Panthers NHL game.

We did lay on the beach one day, and managed to sunburn ourselves beyond belief.  At which point my husband became a delightfully coloured lobster for the rest of the trip.  Another day we drove down to Miami to see the famous South Beach.  I think I like Pompano beach better.  Honestly, South Beach in Miami is just a beach that's fronted by a whole lot of very expensive looking high-rise condos.  We didn't really come across any interesting shops or people.  Though there's a good chance we weren't really looking in the right places.  We did, however, drive through the ritzy shopping area, which really just felt like a tropical version of Robson street.  So yeah, I'll skip Miami next time if that's cool.

If you're curious, the Panthers played the Carolina Hurricanes at the game we went to.  Tickets were literally $14, and we sat in the upper deck at centre ice.  Those weren't even the cheapest seats.  The cheapest seats were at either end of the ice in the nosebleeds.  They cost $7.  The Panthers lost 6-2, if I remember right.  It was pitiful hockey, actually.  And they had cheerleaders.  Actual cheerleaders.  In the arena.  It was ridiculous.  I mean, it's a hockey arena, so it's gonna be cold.  So they can't wear their skimpy outfits.  So they have to put a little more on, which sorta defeats the purpose, 'cause cheerleaders are really only there as eye candy so you don't have to watch the pitiful hockey game unfolding in front of you.  Or at least that's what the boys tell me.  I'm embarrassed on your behalf, Florida Panthers.  Not for the pitiful hockey, but for the cheerleaders.

So after our foray into the world of ridiculously cheap NHL hockey, we said goodbye to cheap and drove down to Key West.  Key West is the southernmost point in the United States, and is only a measly 90 miles from Cuba.  It's reached by a series of bridges built between the islands of the Florida Keys, a chain of islands off the southern tip of Florida.  The longest bridge between the islands is 7 miles, which doesn't sound like much, but it's a pretty long bridge, folks.  My runner friends might also be interested to know that they hold a race from one end of the bridge to the other every year(http://www.7mbrun.com/).  This, as well as they Key West Half Marathon(http://www.keywesthalfmarathon.com/), are now living happily on my bucket list, to be completed at some point when I've got the time and money.

We went to Key West primarily because I'd heard it's a good place to go SCUBA diving.  And dive we did.  Or, at least, my husband went on more than one dive.  I made it through the first dive, but then the scourge of my seasickness kicked in and I was incapacitated enough to forego the second dive in favour of vomiting off the side of the boat.  I hope the fishes enjoyed the warm meal.  The one dive I did go on was all right, though it was quite shallow and there really weren't all that many fish to see.  But perhaps Maui and the Great Barrier Reef have ruined me forever.  My husband, the lucky bastard, not only went on the second dive that day, but he also did a wreck dive on the Vandenberg the next morning.  I was rather jealous, but not jealous enough to risk feeding the fishies on two successive days.  He did come back with some incredible pictures, though.

We spent even more time on a boat when we went on a day trip to the Dry Tortugas, a few small islands 70 miles off the coast of Key West, and home to a decommissioned American military base, Fort Jefferson.  Miraculously, on that trip I never tossed my cookies.  Which was good, because breakfast and lunch on board the Yankee Freedom III was actually pretty good.  And no, I'm not making up that name.  That's actually what the boat was called.  It was a catamaran, so I think that helped.

There is no fresh water on the Dry Tortugas-hence the name-so they're basically uninhabited.  Fort Jefferson has a lovely beach and some brick ruins to explore, and if you were feeling the need, there were also a few coral heads offshore to snorkel around.  I wouldn't exactly call the snorkelling first-class, but it was quite nice to get in the water and try out our new underwater camera setup.  We had a lovely mellow day there, and poor hubby got even more lobster-esque from sitting out in the sun all day.

We also explored Fort Zachary Taylor while we were in Key West-what is it with Americans and putting a military base on every single island they've ever set foot on?  They have some ruins there, as well as a lovely little beach that's delightfully uncrowded, probably owing to the fact that you have to pay $3 to get in.  We also wandered aimlessly around Key West a lot.  It's a busy little city, with tons of souvenir shops and restaurants(and a Margaritaville, I might add).  It also turned out that while we were there it was spring break.  I'll admit, when I was in university, I never really went on any trips during spring break owing to a complete lack of cash flow to do so.  But I like to think if I had been one of the many who did have the money, I probably wouldn't have been as much of a douchebag as the twits in Key West.  Seriously, you guys aren't the only ones on the island, stop acting like you are.

And the best part of Key West, and I do mean the best part of Key West, is the Key Lime pie.  Oh.  My.  God.  The Key Lime Pie.  Like I'd died and gone to pie heaven.  Most of you are aware of my intense love for a good pie, but Key Lime pie!  Soooooo gooooood.  We even found a place called Kermit's that had key lime pie on a stick, double-dipped in Belgian chocolate.  Yes, that is as good as it sounds.  And yes, after we got it, Glen had to give me a few minutes alone with it.  It was that good.  I bought a recipe book while I was there so I could make Key Lime pie when I got back, and I ended up making a couple to take to work.  One of the girls I work with now thinks I need to quit my job and start a business selling nothing but Key Lime pies.

Reluctant as we were to leave the lush deliciousness of Key West, it was also kinda bleeding us dry as far as finances go.  Plus we had to get back to Orlando to catch our flight home.  We had a few days before we had to get to the airport, and on advice from one of the divers on the boat my husband had talked to, we decided we wanted to go swimming with the manatees.  We looked it up on the internets, and found that we could do it at a place called Crystal Springs, which was about 2 hours northwest of Orlando.  We looked at a map a decided we could drive there in a day, so away we went.  We made it there not too late and went out the next morning.

Now, if you've no idea what a manatee is, I suggest doing a Google image search.  They're prehistoric things that look like a cross between a platypus, and otter and an elephant.  And they're HUGE.  And I don't mean they're a bit big, I mean they're HUGE!  Like, waaaay bigger than a human.  Anyways, we went out on the first boat of the day on the advice of the people that run the operation, because they said that was the best time to get a good opportunity for a lot of manatees.  They suited us up with some thin wetsuits and took us out on a 5-minute boat ride, about 600m from the dock.  Almost seemed a little absurd that we needed a boat to get that far, but I'll go along.  We got a little preamble about what to do in the water before we got on the boat, but the captain also gave us a little more advice once we were aboard.  One of his main suggestions was to try not to splash around much, because it scares them away.  Then we slipped into the water with our snorkels and a pool noodle to help keep us afloat, hoping for some manatee action.

Crystal Springs sits along a freshwater river, that's partially fed by some warm-water springs.  The manatees hang there because of the springs-they get cold, you see, and the warm water feels nice.  Sections of the river are roped off, and boaters aren't allowed to go there because that's where the manatees hang out.  We were at one spot, just over one of the springs, where the boats anchor, and then you float towards the spring and hope for a manatee sighting.  At first we didn't see anything.  The water was actually pretty murky, and the visibility was probably only 3 feet or so, so it was a bit creepy.  But I floated along, trying not to make much fuss on the surface, and them BAM!  Manatee.  And when there's suddenly a 800 lb animal staring you directly in the face it's a little unnerving.  The boat captain had told us before we got in the water that there was nothing in the river that would hurt us.  I repeated this in my head many times as this manatee stared me down.  Then he swam by, and I slowly stretched out an arm to give him a little rub.  You're allowed to touch the manatees, you see, provided you're gentle and don't try to grab onto them.

It turns out they like belly rubs.  If you're scratching them, and they like it, they'll sometimes roll over like a puppy, so they can have their bellies rubbed.  Their skin feels rough, kindof like sandpaper without the grit, and they're covered with coarse hairs they use for sensing their surroundings.  Well, it wasn't just the one manatee we saw.  There were probably 10-12 in the tiny are we were in, of varying sizes and ages.  It was pretty easy to get completely surrounded by them.  But once you get used to the idea that they're not going to hurt you, they're very cute and friendly. One even got particularly friendly and tried to take a chunk out of my pool noodle.  When that proved unappetizing, he moved onto hugging my leg with his flippers.  Hubby thought that was hilarious.  We had an excellent time swimming with the manatees, and I suggest that if you're ever in Florida, definitely go.  It's awesome.

We stayed in Crystal River for one more night, and managed to visit the Homosassa Springs Wildlife Park while we were there.  It's a cool park, mostly local animals, and their gift shop sells socks with neon manatees on them.  They are now some of my favourite socks, second only to the puffin socks my Mom got me a couple years ago.

From Crystal River we drove back to the airport and dropped off the rental car, then spent a night in a hotel near the airport so we could catch a ride back to Canada the next morning.  It was a pretty good trip, overall, and we did some really fun stuff.  I liked Florida.

This proves I'm a Princess, dammit!

When was the last time I posted anything here?  I can't even remember, which is either a sign of old age, or not enough adventure, both of which are terrible and must be dealt with!  Either way, it is time for a narrative of some recent adventures!  I think I shall split this one up into a few different posts, in the interests of expediting their posting.  I shall begin, dear friends, with the Disney Princess Half Marathon.

Yes, you read that correctly.  The Disney Princess Half Marathon.  Disney, you see, likes to host races.  Lots and lots of races.  Probably because it sucks people into their parks and helps them make money.  And who am I to argue?  It worked on me, after all.  Originally I had wanted to run the Disney World Marathon, but the timing of that one wasn't quite right, so I managed to finagle my husband into running a half with me.  Well, "with" is really a matter of opinion, since he has yet to beat me, or even come close to finishing with a time that isn't significantly slower than mine.  At any rate, the Princess Half is hosted at, and held within the confines of the Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida.  As a half marathon it is, in fact, a 21.1 km race.  Or for those yankees out there, 13.1 miles.  So it's short.

The easiest way to deal with this race, I figured, was to simply stay at one of the multitude of hotels and resorts that are actually on Disney World property.  Disney World, if you aren't aware, is HUGE.  Not "it takes me 20 minutes to walk from one end to the other" huge, but "it takes me 2 days to walk from one end to the other" huge.  The race, all 21 km of it, was inside the park.  As in we didn't leave.  As in we never set foot off Disney property.  And we didn't backtrack at all.  The advantage of staying at a Disney hotel is that you don't have to drive.  They have shuttles to take you pretty much anywhere you want to go, including the race expo.  I will definitely hand it to Disney, they have phenomenal organizational skills.

The race was expensive.  For 2 people, the entry cost me $250, and that was the early bird price.  Not a race for the thrifty.  But it was worth it in the end, I think.  You'd think so, too, if you ever run a Disney race. I'll explain why later.

We picked up our race kits at one of the other resorts-the one with the conference centre attached-and wandered the expo for a bit.  It was actually a very good expo.  I said it after Vegas and this race confirms it-Americans have good race expos.  There were tons of booths, lots of really cool stuff to check out and try if you felt inclined, and most importantly, lots of sweet swag.  I came out with a Cheshire Cat t-shirt that I wear with pride and a ridiculous grin.  It makes me happy.  The race shirts were really just ordinary tech t-shirts, that were a royal purple.  But they did say Disney on them.  And they're pretty comfortable.  Also part of the race kits were our race bibs(you know, the things with the numbers on them), of which there were 2.  Apparently, since Glen and I signed up as a 2-person team(team Truffle Shuffle), we got "commemorative" race bibs with our names and race numbers on them.  I couldn't figure out why we got these, though, given that we couldn't wear them in the race because our timing chips were on the other bibs.  So they were a bit pointless.  But hey, I'll take it anyways.  When we signed up, they had asked us who our favourite princesses were.  We couldn't quite figure out why, but Glen went with Merida(he hadn't even seen the movie at the time), and I went with Belle. I was a little annoyed that Pocahontas wasn't a choice, but I guess if you're gonna get technical, she's not really a princess.

This takes us to race morning.  Very, extremely early on race morning.  Because the race started at 5:35 am.  Yes, you read that right, 5:35 am.  That's early.  Now, if you factor in that we're from Vancouver and the race was on the opposite coast, so there's a time difference, then the race started at 2:35am.  And we had to be getting to the race are at least an hour before the race started.  And there was a good 20 minute bus ride to get there.  So that means we walked out of of hotel room at around 1am Vancouver time.  It was unpleasant.  I theorize they started the race this early so that it wouldn't interfere with park operations, which I'm pretty sure is true.

We managed to get on a bus quite quickly, likely owing to Disney's aforementioned phenomenal organizational skills, which had buses lined up waiting to pick up runners at each hotel.  They dropped us off actually quite far from the start line, but given that there were 21 000 people in the race, that sorta made sense.  We took our time wandering to the start line, since we had nearly an hour to kill and had no desire to stand still and psych ourselves out for that long.  So as we were wandering we passed an open area where there was one dude surrounded by women all looking on in adoration while he talked.  As we walked by, I looked to see who it was, and it looked like Sean Astin, but I wasn't totally sure.  Sounded like him, though.  After the traditional pre-race nervous pee, we wandered our way to the starting line, which turned out to be a good mile and a half from where to bus dropped us off.  Suddenly it was clear why they wanted us there an hour before the gun.  We putzed around near the corrals for a bit, until about 20 minutes before the race start, then headed into the tulle-filled corrals.  There were a lot of tutus.  And when I say a lot, I mean a LOT.  I think if you did the math there was probably 1/4 of the women wearing tutus.

I had somehow ended up in the first corral, despite the fact that I'm not really that fast of a runner.  But that's relative, I guess.  Glen was in the third corral.  They had big screens and speakers everywhere that were showing little interviews they were doing with people and whatnot, which were there pretty much to keep the runners entertained so we didn't start the world's happiest riot.  And who should show up on the screen about 10 minutes to gun time, but Sean Astin.  I guessed correctly, friends.  Samwise Gamgee was running the Princess Half Marathon with us.  Now all Team Truffle Shuffle was missing was Mouth(Glen was Data and I was Chunk).

Then, finally, it was time to run.  I hadn't really thought too much about the actual race itself, mostly because I was too busy planning the rest of the vacation, but the actual run itself was fun.  Really fun.  Like, I'll pay a $125 per person entry fee to run fun.  Along the race route they had costumed characters from all the Disney movies.  Mostly the male characters owing to the fact that the race was 95% women.  And people were stopping to have their pictures taken with them.  On the way back to the finish line, I saw on the other side of the course and there were lines, long lines, of women waiting to get their picture taken with the characters.  I'm still torn as to whether I would ever do that myself-wait in line for a picture when there was a timer running for my race.  But I guess I'll figure that out if I ever decide to run another Disney race.

The run was also fun because of where it went.  We ran through the Magic Kingdom and Epcot.  The Magic Kindom was cool because it went through Cinderella's castle, and they had turned all the lights on for us.  There was a spot where you could hop off the course for a second and have your picture taken in front of the castle by the good folks at Marathonfoto.  And all the employees had come out of their shops, or stopped sweeping or whatever it was they were doing at 5:35 in the morning, to cheer us on.  They were clapping, yelling, and it actually looked like they were pleased to be there.  Not like they were getting paid to be cheerful, like most of the people that work at the Disney Parks, but like they were genuinely pleased to be there, and were even more pleased that you were there too.

The water stations were well-spaced and well-stocked, and I believe there was a gel station at one point that I ran by and grimaced at, too.  I ran most of the race in the dark, since it started so early.  I had optimistically taken my sunglasses in the hopes that the sun would rise before I made it to the finish line, but I didn't use them.  If I remember right, the sun was just coming up about 15 minutes before I crossed the finish line.

It was hot, though.  Hot and incredibly humid.  Within 5 minutes of crossing the start line I was dripping, and within 20 minutes my shorts and shirts were completely soaked with sweat, and my hat had ceased to even attempt soaking up any more liquids.  And when you're used to running in the rain when it's somewhere between 5-10 degrees Celsius, suddenly cranking the heat up to 25 degrees really doesn't help your finishing time too much.

The medals at the finish line were HUGE.  Larger even than the Rock n' Roll series medals-not heavier, but larger size-wise.  And they had a tiara and jewels on them.  It's the prettiest medal in my collection so far.  After I received my well-deserved medal, I had my photo taken, which turned out surprisingly good, considering it was so hot my face is the colour of an overripe tomato.  Then I got my post-race food, which was nicely packaged in a lovely RunDisney box, and contained some energy bars, nuts and whatnot.  I still don't understand why every race insists on giving you dry food when you've just managed to sweat out a good chunk of your body weight and quite literally have no saliva left to swallow it with, but that's a different discussion for another day.  Then I parked myself on a lovely patch of pavement to wait for Glen to finish and do my best not to pass out from sleep deprivation.

So my finishing time was 2:05:35.  That is the slowest time I have ever posted in a half marathon.  While I didn't exactly train to run this race particularly fast, it's been a long time since I posted anything over 2 hours in a half, so I was a little disappointed.  But you can't win 'em all, I guess.  I did, however, run a negative split, and it's been a while since I managed to do that.  Glen also ran his slowest time, and was quite disappointed with himself, but he was having some trouble with the heat as well.  I had a good run, though.  Even at the end it really didn't feel too bad, which is definitely a sign that I wasn't going as fast as I could have.  I even felt reasonably good for the rest of the day-after a nap, of course-which was a nice bonus, since we went out to the Magic Kingdom that day.

If the opportunity arose, I would likely run another Disney race.  Maybe not a half, since it's really not far enough, but a marathon, perhaps.  Maybe Disneyland, next time.  I'll have to think about that one.  But as far as the race went, it was a pretty good experience.

Oh, and I beat Samwise Gamgee by 15 minutes.