Well, as many of you know, Glen and I made a little foray down to Las Vegas for a few days last week. I had been there twice before, but Glen hadn't been (well, at least at a time when he could remember). So away we went, for 5 days and 4 nights, staying at Excalibur.We got in around noon, and were checked into the hotel by around 2, so our first order of business was to get a couple of yard-tall daquiris at one of the hotel bars. Mmmm...daquiris. Jana and Slacker can testify to the delight that is a Las Vegas daquiri. Then we took off down the strip in search of more adventure. We didn't really do much other than ogle all grandeur that is Las Vegas, and there is quite a lot of grandeur to ogle. They really don't do anything small down there. It's changed a bit since I was there last, but really it's only the addition of a few more buildings and casinos.
The next day we got up a bit early so we had breakfast at the Luxor's buffet. More about that later. Then we met went on the tour of the timeshare condos we had agreed to the day before. We really only went because they gave us free tickets to see the Tournament of Kings at Excalibur that night, but we also wanted to find out how timeshares worked. We were actually thinking about it for a while, until we realized that anywhere we wanted to go there probably wasn't a timeshare property in a very good location, and even if the initial purchase price eventually got paid off, it was still going to cost us a decent chunk of change in maintence fees every year anyways. Plus near the end they just started to get really pushy. Though my favorite part of the whole experience was right near the end we finally said no for the last time, and the woman asked us why. I basically said when we go on vacation we go backpacking and it pretty much costs us nothing. We don't take grand $5000 vacations every year. That shut her down pretty quick, though not without her somehow insinuating that because we liked backpacking that we didn't travel much. Yeah. Because seeing the Rocky Mountains or Vancouver Island from remote, unpopulated areas where only a handful of people have ever been means that we hate to travel. For the record, when I said backpacking, what I actually meant was backpacking-travelling, not backpacking-hiking, though we like to do both. And I can't imagine there are a lot of RCI-approved timeshares available in Kathmadu.
That night we went to the Tournament of Kings at Excalibur (with our free show tickets). After the show we took the Deuce (the bus that goes up and down the strip) to Fremont street to see the lights and check things out. We caught a tribute to Queen on the ceiling, which was appropriate given how much Glen seems to enjoy that particular band. We also picked up another large daquiri, though this one mostly to keep ourselves warm. It gets feckin cold in the desert at night! The next day we took a bus tour out to Hoover Dam, more on that later. The next morning we ate an absurdly large breakfast at the brunch buffet at the MGM Grand, then did a bit more wandering. Then it was Blue Man Group at the Venetian. The next morning we had another breakfast buffet at our hotel, then caught a shuttle back to the airport for the flight home.
So now that the summary's all over and done with, I'll elaborate on the points I think need elaborating on.
Hoover Dam. We took a 5 hour bus trip out to Hoover Dam from Las Vegas. I was a little surprised to find how close it actually is to the city-it's really only about a 45 minute drive. The dam itself wasn't really as impressive as I thought it would be. Yes, it's an impressively large structure. And yes, it's a huge amount of concrete. But for some reason it wasn't as awe-inspiring as I thought it would be. We saw a short video on the making of the dam, then took a very quick tour of a couple of other places in the dam, one of the places being the turbine room. The one thing that struck me, as well as Glen, was the sheer amount of propaganda that was being fed to us throughout our experience at the dam. Yes, it's an amazing feat of engineering that's brought power and water to many people. And they were apt to point out that the dam has made it possible for people to live in a harsh and normally inhospitable climate. They also pointed out that the dam would solve flooding problems downriver, essentially "taming" the mighty Colorado River. So basically, the Hoover Dam was built so people could live somewhere where they really shouldn't be living, and to prevent nature from messing up human habitations farther down the river. Thus the take-home message is that nature needs to be controlled so people can live wherever the hell they want. That's an awesome thing to be teaching our children. There's no need to respect nature when it can be conquered.Cigarette smoke. I've complained before about the cigarette smoke in London, apparently the British didn't get the memo about the link between cigarettes and lung cancer. Well it appears that neither have most of the people in the United States. And to make matters worse, they have yet to pass a law that disallows smoking in casinos, bars and restaraunts. It's disgusting. Every night we came back to our room and had to shower before we went to bed so we didn't have to smell it all night long. I literally had to wash everything in my bag when we got back. Gross. After 5 days we were both dying for a few breaths of smoke-free air.
The Shows. The Tournament of Kings was excellent. It was a bit cheesy, but more like Havarti than cheap cheddar. It was a dinner show, and given that it's set in medieval era, they don't provide cutlery. The food was actually quite good, made better by the fact that you got to get your hands dirty to eat it. We sat in the cheering section for the king of Ireland, though he didn't actually win the tournament that night. It was a fun, they teach you how to toast and slap the table to cheer. The other show we saw was the Blue Man Group at the Venetian. It was fantastic. It's hard to describe what it's actually about, because the show itself didn't really have a theme or any kind of storyline. I can say that it was hilarious, clever, and very interesting. And pretty much everybody will get it. Before we went we thought the tickets were a bit pricey, but after that show I think both Glen and I agreed that it was well worth what we paid for it. Should you ever be in Vegas and have the chance, definitely go see the Blue Man Group. We actually met an excessively chatty old man on the bus one day that had seen them 15 times. He says they were excellent each and every time he went.Daquiris. Booze are one of the main attractions in Las Vegas. I've been told if you sit at the slot machines for long enough, or one of the gambling tables, that they'll even bring you free drinks. One thing I discovered last time I was there was that you can buy a drink and carry it pretty much anywhere you want to. Into other casinos, stores, even right out in the open on the street. And there are plenty of places to buy your booze. Most of the casinos now have their own souvenier glasses that you can get with a variety of drinks in them. Glen and I came home with three different kinds of plastic cups, one of them shaped like the Eiffel Tower. The best drink we had though, hands down, was the Bama Breeze at Margaritaville. You couldn't even taste the liquor in it. It was just a delicious, fruity, coconuty delight. Mmm, my mouth waters just remembering it. Oh, and Flippy, the rumrunner-poring bartender from my last trip is still there! And he still sticks his tips to his bald head. Swing by the round bar between Harrah's and Imperial Palace next time you're there and see for yourself. Order a rumrunner. I dare ya.
Skin. Well, sex, really. It's so in-your-face there. I remember the guys on the corners flicking the pictures of prostitutes and dancing girls at you from the times I'd been previous, but I swear the thongs-in-your-face experience wasn't as bad before. Now you can't take more than 2 steps without being assaulted by the image of a half-naked woman with bulging behemoth boobs leering back at you from a billboard, signpost, or piece of trash lying on the sidewalk. I'm no puritan, but does it really have to be so in your face? I mean, people take their kids to Las Vegas. The Sirens of TI outside Treasure Island each night used to be about pirates and treasure. Now it's about scantily clad women enticing guys to come join them on their ship by signing and dancing suggestively. It used to be a family show, but there's no way I'd let my kids watch it now. And you can't get away from it, because it's everywhere. Even on Fremont street there was a stage with women dancing in their underwear. And there was reason or purpose for this show, it was just there. Along with a squadron of creepy, drooling old men.
The buffets. Oh yes, the all-important, ever present buffets. If you've never heard me profess my love for a good buffet, here it is: I unequivocally, unconditionally LOVE buffets. Ever have trouble deciding what you want off a menu? No problem if you're at a buffet! You can have a little of everything, if you like. And there's no need to finish it if you decide you don't like it, just leave it on your plate and go back for something better. How can you argue with that? That, dear readers, is why I love buffets. And holy crap, are there a lot of buffets in Las Vegas. Glen and I ate at no less than 4 different buffets, and they were all good. Though our favorite had to be the Sunday brunch at MGM Grand. Sure, we paid through the teeth for it, but we didn't exactly walk away hungry. That's the only problem with a buffet, really. You eat too much. Well, I do, anyways. I always want to try everything, which in Vegas is nearly impossible given the size of the buffets. And nearly every hotel has one. It might not be huge, but it's there. Then you have to live with the post-buffet guilt, though. You swear to yourself you won't eat as much at the next meal, but what happens? You eat just as much, maybe even a little more. I guess that's why people always gain weight when they're on vacation. Mmm...buffets.So now I'm done with Las Vegas, literally and figuratively. It was my third time there, and now all the awe and wonder has basically worn off, and there's really not much left to make me want to go back again. I don't really gamble (aside from dropping maybe $20 in the slot machines for kicks), and I really don't drink much except on very rare occasions. So that, I think, was my last trip to Las Vegas. Plus there's far too much more world to see to keep going back to the same place over and over again.
So stay tuned, kiddies, for the next delightful adventure. That was just for you, April. ;)
