Well, it's official, I have now been surfing. Jana, I'm sorry but the opportunity presented itself and I just couldn't say no. The opportunity being a free weekend and it not being freezing cold yet, so still available for camping. Glen and I drove to Tofino this weekend to check it out and we took a 2 hour lesson with an outfit called Surf Sister that's centered there.
First of all can I just say that i look damn fine in a wetsuit. It squeezes in all the cubby areas and smooths out the bumps, thus giving the impression that I'm actually much better looking than I really am. I'd post a picture but I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Jana, you would love them, since they also squeezed my chest into nonexistance. Not the most comfortable things to wear by far though, since they make you feel like you're choking, and they zip up from the back, so you can't really just leave the zipper open to prevent the choking feeling. But much needed 'cause I'm sure I would've frozen to death in about 0.005 seconds were I not wearing one. The waters of the pacific are quite cool, you see. Not arctic fresh, but nearly so.
Anyways, so we get into our wetsuits and get a little lesson on the beach on some theory of how not to kill ourselves, and then they take us into the water. Not entirely unpleasant since we have the wetsuits and all. For those who don't know, here's how it works: You go into the water to the depth you want, in our case it was about waist level. Then as the wave approaches, you hurl yourself onto the board floating in the ocean next to you, and correctly position yourself on the board. At this point I felt tlike a beached whale, as I had some difficulty finding the correct position on the board. I blame my 9 1/2 meter legs. Then as the wave approaches, you paddle until it catches up to you. You paddle about three more times, then do a push-up move, fling your feet underneath you, and somehow try to stand up without falling over and getting a snoutful of saltwater. All this while the wave is still pushing you, so you have a chance to actually ride it.
There are many flaws in this theory. First, it's damn hard to get yourself up on this board without falling off the other side or turning yourself sideways. Second, the paddling never really seems to do much. And third, the push-up/leg fling move is nearly impossible if you have no upper body strength. I have no upper body strength. And finally, if you do get up, or nearly up, there is no graceful dismount. You basically just have to bail off the board. Which is not to say that I didn't have fun. I had an excellent time, all I need now is practice.
But there'a really nothing like that first mouthful of saltwater to remind you you're in the ocean. It tastes horrible, and I don't even want to think about how many amoebas/bacteria/algae/other assorted creepy crawlers I swallowed during my many, many wipeouts. Oh, and I've not found anpther sport that produces the infamous "hip bruises" that us hikers are so well acquainted with. Only these hip bruises you can actually see. I'd post a picture, but it's hard to get the whole thing without showing a little too much skin, and no one wants that. I think it's because you're lying belly down on the board so much, and they just get pressed against it or something. It also bruises the bottom fo your rib cage and makes your arms really, really sore. And it gives you some fabulous sore areas where you get beaned by the board or the sand when you fall. And that happens a lot. But it's totally worth it.
So in conclusion, I'm definitely going back to Tofino to go surfing again. And you can do it there year round, so that might be soon. Perhaps a certain family might be interested in coming out at Christmas and we can go...
